Family

mia · Family

I go on lots of other sites, learn and share lots of interesting things, but there are hundreds of members on them, many I have not interacted with or even met' so some things I don't mention.
I want to talk here though.
I mentioned in my new intro that I never felt I belonged to my family.
Well, I still don't!
I am 58 now a 'wrinkly' my g/kids say lol and I don't feel any different to my mum as I do to one of my clients, my brother to a neighbour I hardly see and my sis to a neighbour I meet now and then.
They are not strangers, but I wouldn't care if I never saw them again to be truthful.
As long as I knew they were ok.
Yet my soul family are a different matter.
Tory, I would die for.
I would do anything for all you others too, anything.
But my birth family, I dunno, maybe if the time came I would, but I don't feel for them the same as my soul family.
My kids and g/kids are a different matter, I love them unconditionally, just like my soul family.
I have thought about this for a long time.
What do you think about it?
Am I horrible?
Should I feel this way?
Does anyone else feel like I do?

Sage/Debs

Mia..I can totally understand how you feel. I come from a family of 6 and not a one stays in touch. They hold grudges real and imagined and thru this hurt themselves but me no longer. I wish them well but no longer try and try again to reach them. My spirit family, my forum families..here and at NLH fill my life with the love and joy I miss from them and I am content. I am glad you're in my family. q13

BooBoo

Mia,

I also understand where you are coming from.......Biologically I have no family that I know.

My father (God bless him) -- yes my adopted father, but who cares -- told me once that WE MAKE OUR OWN FAMILY. Over the years, his words have been proven true.

My mother and father that raised me ARE my parents (both crossed). My two brothers are the only two siblings I know. (One is crossed). I am not close to the one remaining on this earth, but have had a couple of other fellows in my life who have "filled in".

Things came full circle for me in this life in a way.........My mother was 41+ when I joined the family. She and I were soulmates. My husband and I adopted Brianna when I was the same age as my mother.......and Bri and I are very connected. I call her the child of my Heart and Soul.
She is 11 now.....so that gives you an idea of my age. (smile).

Larry and I also have some people in our lives (both together and separately) who are definitely closer to us than any biological family. Larry comes from a strong Italian background and even he admits to that.

So, Mia.........I've learned to never feel guilty regarding love.

q18

Maryann

mia

Thank you for your replies. I feel easier now.
My family do not ignore me. They do love and worry about me.
And they smother me too much with their attention.
I just don't feel the same about them.
xx

Sulis

Famalies are funny creatures i have 4 brother and a sister, one brother disowned us years ago till his wife left him a couple of years ago.

two brothers i see twice a year, xmas and mums birthday barbie which i have at my place, one of those brothers goes to his wifes neices if her mum is giving her a party instead of his mothers, doesnt make sence to me..

my mum - my wifes 3 yr old niece - he better not come crying on my shoulder when my mum passes over.

my sister and i are real close but we can go months without seeing or contacting each other other times were living in each others pockets.

were like chalk and cheese really.

my mum and i struggle the older she gets

but i love her dearly

so ive a mixed family but if anything happened to anyone of them id usually be the first round there to help in any way i could, IF theyd let me.
and i think the same would apply if i needed them, except the two, one wouldnt come at all the other might if i ask

herding cats

I have 3 sisters and two 1/2 brothers. The 1/2 brothers are my own kids ages. I am very close to one of my sisters, quite close to the other and the third is ..well she is just odd at times q27

.
I am very close to my father and haven't seen or spoken with my mother in 11 years. My mother is an extremely toxic person.

My husband has 3 brothers all of whom we are pretty close to...one more so than the other 2. He was never close to either of his parents and they have both passed now.

I was very close to my grandparents when I was young and even knew my great grandparents..... for me family gets more important the older I get. I have a handful of good friends but we don't see each other often being in different states.

As for my soul family I have it good because some of my biologic family are in that group......We are different and so we understand each other where outsiders don't always "get us".

Feelings are never wrong or horrible they just are, and yours are valid. It is better to be honest with yourself than put on airs for appearances sake. I know plenty of unhappy families that act like everything is great, it is sad really. I'd rather care deeply for a few than have lots of friends for show q13

BooBoo

"Feelings are never wrong or horrible they just are, and yours are valid. It is better to be honest with yourself than put on airs for appearances sake. I know plenty of unhappy families that act like everything is great, it is sad really. I'd rather care deeply for a few than have lots of friends for show."

Cats, you said it in a nutshell!